First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
ttyl tear gas
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
