i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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