that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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