If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
