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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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