The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
