I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
