Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize