I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i was born a porn star she said
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
