We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize