I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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