THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
