I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
