I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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