And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize