this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
