I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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