honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
