took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize