the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
