when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
