god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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