Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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