why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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