we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
