she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Never underestimate the power of titties
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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