sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Your mouth is God's brothel.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
