dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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