Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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