Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
