and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Fuck appropriateness.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
