so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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