There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
