he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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