i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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