Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
