perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
