i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize