guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
