So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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