i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
