As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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