So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
