if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
