I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you never un-have a 4some
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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