I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
