I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize