Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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