I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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