I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
