the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
