Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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