At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
