Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
