I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
