Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
