I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize