i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
you made out with another girl for some wings
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
