The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
