So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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