At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We left an ass print on the piano.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
