i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
