Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's the barista slut.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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