There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
sex in a hospital.. check
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
