ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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