im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
