We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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