I just cut my nipple shaving
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
