North Korea, Best Korea!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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