We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize