I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
