Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
