Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
