You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
