I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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